Boebert Finds a Missing Congressman, and a Mirror

Politics rewards the loud over the present. Lauren Boebert grasps the bargain better than most.

This week, cornered by a TMZ camera on the Capitol steps, the Colorado Republican turned her fellow GOP congressman into a piñata. Boebert slammed Rep. Tom Kean Jr. of New Jersey for his extended absence from Capitol Hill and the campaign trail^1,2,3: "Where is he? No, seriously. It's embarrassing," she told TMZ on Wednesday.^2,3 Kean has not cast a vote since March 5, according to the House clerk.^1,2,3 The man has been a ghost for nearly three months, and his own party can't find him.

Boebert kept twisting. "I'm not saying that he's dead, but I mean, come on," she said. "Where is the representation? That is taxation without representation, is it not?"^2,3 Then the kicker, when asked whether she wanted him back: "I mean, sure, we need a majority," she said of the tight November fight ahead. "But under these circumstances, maybe I'm working too hard because I work my ass off to get re-elected and to serve the people of my district."^2,3

Here's the part she'd rather you forget. Boebert is no model of perfect attendance. From January 2021 to May 2026, she missed 116 of 2,792 roll call votes, 4.2 percent, much worse than the 2.1 percent median among representatives currently serving.⁴ The scold has a record.

And Kean's mystery is genuinely grotesque. He's introducing legislation even though he hasn't returned to work (becoming lead sponsor of a bill on preeclampsia screening) even though he's still out and nobody knows where he is.^2,3 He cruised through his uncontested primary on Tuesday after Trump issued a glowing endorsement praising him as a "great representative" who "WILL NEVER LET YOU DOWN!"^2,3 A phantom collecting a federal paycheck and a presidential gold star. Fine target. Boebert isn't wrong about the rot.

But the venom has a backstory. Boebert is freelancing because Trump cut her loose. Trump turned on one of his most loyal congressional allies, publicly labeling Boebert "weak minded" on Truth Social and calling for a primary challenger in Colorado.^5,6 She was one of four Republicans to back the Massie-Khanna discharge petition that forced the Justice Department to release files related to convicted sex offender Jeffrey Epstein.⁶ The catch: the filing deadline for Boebert's seat was in March, and she is running unopposed in the June 30 GOP primary.⁷ The king threatened her, and there's nobody left he can crown.

So she's safe, she's snarky, and she's calling out a no-show while Trump props that same no-show up. That's the whole tableau: a party that rewards the absent loyalist and torches the present apostate. Boebert, for her part, shrugged on X that she's "not mad or offended" by the snub.⁵

She wanted to know where Tom Kean is. Fair question. Here's a sharper one: why does the ghost get the gold star while the loyalist who crossed Trump gets branded "weak minded"? MUCK YOU is right.